still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
