Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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