fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
