Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
