I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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