the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
