I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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