I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Randomize
