i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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