someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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