He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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