i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
is wine microwaveable?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
