At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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