It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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