you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
