the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize