This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize