the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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