At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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