last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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