it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You're a waste of cheezeits
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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