how can u be prego again
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
