why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
