apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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