PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
