she kept yelling 'call me bella'
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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