I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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