i just had sex bonerless
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
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my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
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He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
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