Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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