I'm really into asian looking animals
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
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Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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