Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Randomize
