But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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