Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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