It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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