I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
