Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Two words: nipple clamps
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