Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
