Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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