Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
