there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Randomize
