the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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