At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
