I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
