Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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