Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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