So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
so explain again why im purple
no
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
