i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
