So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
