Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I am one with the molecules
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
