got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
