make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
