You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
this is an emotional support booty call
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
