i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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