you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
