honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
