I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Randomize
