So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
