He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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