Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
MIDGETS
????
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
