Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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