Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
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She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
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Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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