Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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